Location: O’Hara’s Bed & Breakfast, West Coast Ireland.
Characters: Mary Margaret O’Hara, proprietor: Michael Patrick (husband), Patrick Michael (son), American Hank Devlin and his long time golf- buddy Martin Boyd, both on first visit to Ireland
_____________________________________________________________
Mrs. O'Hara
“Well, now lads I hope you enjoyed that lovely Irish breakfast – the three slices of black pudding – blood pudding to you – the slices of bacon, mushrooms, baked beans, the two fresh eggs sunny side up as you Americans like to say and of course the giant sausages –from McCool’s the Butcher – he’s a brother-in-law of my sister-in-law you know, although they haven’t spoken for over twelve years, but that’s only temporary. Tell me, what do you fine lads plan to do today. You’re off to the golf course, are ye?”
“Mrs. O’Hara we sure are. We need directions. We don’t have GPS.”
Where the Angels Swim
“And what would ye be needin’ that for, Sir? Doesn’t everyone around here know where everyplace is, around here like? But I’ll tell ya how to get to the golf course. If you go down this road for about two miles, you’ll see a road to the right. That road takes you over the beautiful green hillside and you’ll get a great view of the lakes. They say it is where the angels swim. Some people say they swim in the nude, but I don’t think Father Murphy would approve of that, although there’s been a lot of talk about the long walks he takes with Mother Octavia of the Seven Sorrows - she’s from Six Flags, she has five brothers, four sisters, three are nuns, two priests and one is the black sheep of the family – he’s a politician! Aye, very long walks.”
Mrs. O’Hara paused.
“Anyway, if you see the lakes, you’ve taken the wrong road. Don’t take that road. About a kilometer – ‘tis kilometers we use here now, you know. Kilometers are shorter than miles, but the funny thing is you don’t get there any faster. Anyway - before that road, there is a turn to the left – take that, and the golf course is down there. Have you gentlemen visited these parts before?”
“No. No. We have not, although I sure do love it. My grandfather emigrated from here years ago. I remember sitting on his knee and telling me about the beautiful Irish people and countryside. He never told me about the great Irish golf courses you have.”
“Ah, the only things walking the land in those days were the sheep. Off you go now, gentlemen and par for putt or whatever you guys do. You don’t know that Tiger Weeds guy, do you?
“Woods.”
“Woods? Well, there is a forest about 5 miles from town, but I thought you wanted to play golf”
“We do Mrs. O Hara, we do. The golfer’s name is Woods – Tiger Woods.”
What Do I Want My Attitude To Be
“And there’s me saying … oh well. It’s a funny game that golf. My son Patrick Michael says they even have names for each golf hole down at the golf course – names like White Sox, Wrigley and Sears Tower, although I hear they’re going to change that name for some reason. Now where do they get names like that from? Can you credit that? Well, now off you go and keep an eye out for sheep on the road. When you are near the golf course, they might delay you. But as my late husband, Michael Patrick said when things go wrong –‘What do I want my attitude to be?’ ”
“Sorry to hear that your husband passed away, Mrs. O’Hara, that must have been a blow.”
“My husband? – Ah no, he’s just late – late back from the creamery.”
“Oh, I’m glad to hear that. Don’t worry – we’ll keep an eye out for the sheep on the road.”
“Do that. As Willie Nelson might sing ‘On the road again.’ Off you go now.”
As the would-be golfers drove off, Mrs. O’Hara smiled, took out her sleek iPhone hit a speed key and said:
“Hi Patrick Michael? Morning. Quick one for you. I’ve just had a couple of guests heading off to the golf course. Are you out on the land at the moment? Good. Good. Look they’ll be going by your place in about 10 minutes. Put a few sheep out on the road for them. Give them a touch of old Ireland.”
“Mom, you’re nuts.”
The Brand Experience
“Ah now Son, you are the one that told me about this Brand Experience thing. That it will help us beat the recession. Those guys came looking for the old Ireland. Aran sweaters. Friendly people. Crazy directions.”
“And what’s with the sheep, Mom? That could make them late for their golf.”
“Sheep? That’s the added value son which you tell me should always be provided. And if they get a little anxious about being late, just tell them to remember that great question when things go slightly wrong.”
“Yea, I know, ‘What do I want my attitude to be?’ It’s a powerful question, recession or not.”
“That it is Son. So put those sheep out, create that Brand Experience thing, I’ll get repeat business and pay off your student loans. It’s the Gift of GAB son and for God’s sake don’t be playing Gun’s n’ Roses on the tractor when they go by. It’ll confuse them. And remember that Gift of GAB son.”
“I know, I know. Goals, Attitude, Behavior. It’s the key to BEATING the recession. OK, Mom, I’ll put the sheep out. Where are they from?”
“Chicago, the Windy City.”
“Ah Barack O’Bama country! I wonder will they be saying ‘Yes – we can, Yes – we can’ after losing a dozen golf balls on that course. But why are you sending them this direction? All you had to do was give them MapQuest details.”
The Gift of GAB
“And wouldn’t that ruin the experience Son? You know Ireland has one of the best educated young populations in the world. You are not a good example of that. You’ve got your father’s brains – he’s still not back from the creamery. My Goal is to make sure my guests have a great time, they’ll have a great Attitude and the end Behavior is they will come back to Ireland again. I’ve got to go now son. That nice man, Padraig Harrington is on the Golf Channel. Hurry up with those sheep. You’ll hear my guests coming. They’re driving a stick shift. Oh by the way, tell them to keep the ball out of the woods -or even weeds!”
“I will Mom, I will. I might even tell them about the Gift of GAB – How Goals, Attitude, Behavior can BEAT the living daylights out of the recession.”
“That’d be nice Son. I think I hear your father coming. He’s going to need the Gift of GAB to explain what kept him.”
Showing posts with label beat the recession. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beat the recession. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Obama Grows into Presidency - FAST
We will BEAT this recession. I believe it and Barack Obama is trying to get America to believe it also. The man has probably had the toughest immediate baptism of fire of any President since Lincoln. He is learning fast and it has to be said his obvious knowledge of so many factors - economic, political, military is quite impressive.
His public performances in the past two days show he has got comfortable with the office very fast. Most people accept he is an inspirational, motivational speaker but some might have questioned whether there was steel there. His first press conference dispelled any worries on that front.
The President explained very clearly and cogently just how much trouble the economy is in. That he was able to recount anecdotes from his visit to Elkhart, Indiana was fortunate for him but also effective. Indeed his visit to the unemployment capital of the United States provided him with a lot of credibility and goodwill. But his overall performance was powerful. He was stately and truly presidential. His command of the speech process is uncanny, something that is not necessarily true when he is involved in Q&A sessions where he hesitates, thinks, pauses a lot before he comes out often with pretty vacuous answers.
He overcame this flaw at last night’s conference by answering many questions with almost mini-speeches. He was also feisty, consistently criticizing the previous administration for the huge debt racked up - "It's a little hard for me to take criticism from folks about this recovery package after they presided over a doubling of the national debt." Whether this was accurate or not is questionable as the Dems have controlled the House for the past few years, but hey! as most inspirational motivational speakers know there is nothing wrong with a little bit of hyperbole.
Footnote I: Things must REALLY be serious when 37 million people watched Obama’s press conference last night. That is 7 million more than watched American Idol debut in January.
Footnote II : The foot in mouth award of the week must go to Texas Rep. Pete Sessions who suggested the 2010 GOP strategy should be comparable to that of the Taliban – one of insurgency. The irony is that his statement has some validity. You should learn from effective operational strategy in any environment and unfortunately the Taliban are murderously effective. But you’d think Sessions – a six term representative – would have had more political moxy. The Democrats should send him a case of his favorite beverage for providing such a juicy political morsel. Of course I would never suggest that either parties ability to mangle the truth for their own benefit is Taliban-like. That would just be too cynical.
And remember:
WE WILL BEAT THIS RECESSION - But we MUST work Harder. We MUST work Smarter.
*************************************************************************************
Conor Cunneen is a Chicago based Irish keynote speaker – motivational, humorous, inspirational - on topics as diverse as BEAT the RECESSION, Foodservice, Cancer (a two time survivor), Business Growth and Presentation Skills, who likes to repeat keywords such as motivational, humorous, inspirational, Irish, Chicago based, Motivational Humorist in an ongoing effort to garner search engine attention and BEAT the RECESSION.
His Brand Promise is:
E4 - Energize, Educate, Entertain AND Easy to work with.
His public performances in the past two days show he has got comfortable with the office very fast. Most people accept he is an inspirational, motivational speaker but some might have questioned whether there was steel there. His first press conference dispelled any worries on that front.
The President explained very clearly and cogently just how much trouble the economy is in. That he was able to recount anecdotes from his visit to Elkhart, Indiana was fortunate for him but also effective. Indeed his visit to the unemployment capital of the United States provided him with a lot of credibility and goodwill. But his overall performance was powerful. He was stately and truly presidential. His command of the speech process is uncanny, something that is not necessarily true when he is involved in Q&A sessions where he hesitates, thinks, pauses a lot before he comes out often with pretty vacuous answers.
He overcame this flaw at last night’s conference by answering many questions with almost mini-speeches. He was also feisty, consistently criticizing the previous administration for the huge debt racked up - "It's a little hard for me to take criticism from folks about this recovery package after they presided over a doubling of the national debt." Whether this was accurate or not is questionable as the Dems have controlled the House for the past few years, but hey! as most inspirational motivational speakers know there is nothing wrong with a little bit of hyperbole.
Footnote I: Things must REALLY be serious when 37 million people watched Obama’s press conference last night. That is 7 million more than watched American Idol debut in January.
Footnote II : The foot in mouth award of the week must go to Texas Rep. Pete Sessions who suggested the 2010 GOP strategy should be comparable to that of the Taliban – one of insurgency. The irony is that his statement has some validity. You should learn from effective operational strategy in any environment and unfortunately the Taliban are murderously effective. But you’d think Sessions – a six term representative – would have had more political moxy. The Democrats should send him a case of his favorite beverage for providing such a juicy political morsel. Of course I would never suggest that either parties ability to mangle the truth for their own benefit is Taliban-like. That would just be too cynical.
And remember:
WE WILL BEAT THIS RECESSION - But we MUST work Harder. We MUST work Smarter.
*************************************************************************************
Conor Cunneen is a Chicago based Irish keynote speaker – motivational, humorous, inspirational - on topics as diverse as BEAT the RECESSION, Foodservice, Cancer (a two time survivor), Business Growth and Presentation Skills, who likes to repeat keywords such as motivational, humorous, inspirational, Irish, Chicago based, Motivational Humorist in an ongoing effort to garner search engine attention and BEAT the RECESSION.
His Brand Promise is:
E4 - Energize, Educate, Entertain AND Easy to work with.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Beat the Recession
Doom and gloom, doom and gloom! No matter where you look, the news seems to be getting worse. “Not bad” is now being termed the “new good.” Yesterday’s 38% decline in auto sales could not even be referred as the “new good.” They were absolutely frightening and with Chrysler’s 55% decline in sales, there must be serious concern that this historic company can survive the recession. As I write this, Costco has issued a warning for this quarter due to a poor January.
So what are you doing to beat the recession? As a keynote speaker (humorous, business growth, foodservice, marketing, cancer, healthcare) I’m in the same boat as everyone else. I’ve had leadership and strategy events cancelled and potential clients say ‘We’re slashing budgets everywhere.’ One thing is certain, doing the same thing, in the same way, to the same target market is not going to get me the same good results I was getting.
A few tips to beat the recession
1) Work Harder
Outgoing Wal-Mart CEO Leo Scott was interviewed recently on CNBC. The comment that really resonated with me was “I’m at my desk at six every morning reviewing yesterday’s figures.” If the chief exec of the world’s largest retailer is at his desk at six, why not you? ‘Why not me?’ I said. In the current environment you HAVE to work harder to get the same results. I am working harder and I am working longer hours than previous including commencing this blog before six this morning. That is one reason why I’m going to beat the recession.
2) Work Smarter
‘Hey, as a motivational humorous speaker on business, you’re not giving me a lot of new ideas,’ I hear you saying. ‘Work smarter’ is a simple concept. DOING IT is not simple. ‘Work smarter’ will help you beat the recession. I have ramped up a number of my activities including:
Better lead follow-up. I recently purchased a new ACT! Software program which is a pain in the butt to work with, but it definitely has improved my productivity with alerts popping up regularly reminding me to contact clients.
Continuous website development. As an Irish motivational humorist – Chicago based, who relies a lot on search engines for business development, I am adding a lot of content to my website with some over the top hyperbolic commentary related to my keywords. I have added more new content this month than any other comparable period – not just blog pages but Mark Twain speeches (the finest most inspirational humorous keynote speaker ever), Great Speeches and State of the Union addresses. All these pages include relevant commentary about the Chicago based Irish humorous keynote business speaker on topics as diverse as cancer, foodservice, business growth, beat the recession etc.
3) Network, Network, Network.
I attend every single cat and dog show that has any relevance to my business. I’ve signed up for more breakfasts, more luncheons than are good for my health. I am particularly interested in business associations which have regular networking meetings.
The more networking you do, the more networking works!
It is difficult to make a solid impression on anyone after one short introduction at a business meeting. However if you see that person again next week and the week after, you are on the way to creating a genuine business connection. Make sure you follow up on every business card you receive. You do not know always know who can make a difference to your business. So keep hammering away! I had a potential client contact me two weeks ago whose name seemed vaguely familiar. I had contacted him and sent a copy of my book Why Ireland Never Invaded America THREE years ago. That’s a long lead time that I don’t want to repeat too often, but the initial contact came about via networking.
Go to it – Beat the recession.
Let’s get more energetic here.
Go to it – Beat the crap out of the recession!
So what are you doing to beat the recession? As a keynote speaker (humorous, business growth, foodservice, marketing, cancer, healthcare) I’m in the same boat as everyone else. I’ve had leadership and strategy events cancelled and potential clients say ‘We’re slashing budgets everywhere.’ One thing is certain, doing the same thing, in the same way, to the same target market is not going to get me the same good results I was getting.
A few tips to beat the recession
1) Work Harder
Outgoing Wal-Mart CEO Leo Scott was interviewed recently on CNBC. The comment that really resonated with me was “I’m at my desk at six every morning reviewing yesterday’s figures.” If the chief exec of the world’s largest retailer is at his desk at six, why not you? ‘Why not me?’ I said. In the current environment you HAVE to work harder to get the same results. I am working harder and I am working longer hours than previous including commencing this blog before six this morning. That is one reason why I’m going to beat the recession.
2) Work Smarter
‘Hey, as a motivational humorous speaker on business, you’re not giving me a lot of new ideas,’ I hear you saying. ‘Work smarter’ is a simple concept. DOING IT is not simple. ‘Work smarter’ will help you beat the recession. I have ramped up a number of my activities including:
Better lead follow-up. I recently purchased a new ACT! Software program which is a pain in the butt to work with, but it definitely has improved my productivity with alerts popping up regularly reminding me to contact clients.
Continuous website development. As an Irish motivational humorist – Chicago based, who relies a lot on search engines for business development, I am adding a lot of content to my website with some over the top hyperbolic commentary related to my keywords. I have added more new content this month than any other comparable period – not just blog pages but Mark Twain speeches (the finest most inspirational humorous keynote speaker ever), Great Speeches and State of the Union addresses. All these pages include relevant commentary about the Chicago based Irish humorous keynote business speaker on topics as diverse as cancer, foodservice, business growth, beat the recession etc.
3) Network, Network, Network.
I attend every single cat and dog show that has any relevance to my business. I’ve signed up for more breakfasts, more luncheons than are good for my health. I am particularly interested in business associations which have regular networking meetings.
The more networking you do, the more networking works!
It is difficult to make a solid impression on anyone after one short introduction at a business meeting. However if you see that person again next week and the week after, you are on the way to creating a genuine business connection. Make sure you follow up on every business card you receive. You do not know always know who can make a difference to your business. So keep hammering away! I had a potential client contact me two weeks ago whose name seemed vaguely familiar. I had contacted him and sent a copy of my book Why Ireland Never Invaded America THREE years ago. That’s a long lead time that I don’t want to repeat too often, but the initial contact came about via networking.
Go to it – Beat the recession.
Let’s get more energetic here.
Go to it – Beat the crap out of the recession!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
